All the Nothing

Calvin and Hobbes, by Bill Watterson


“There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”

I have the time. What I lack is the nothing.

It’s been a while since I made a new year’s resolution. Normally I set goals–a list of things I’d like to accomplish during the next year. I don’t beat myself up over failing to meet those goals, though, as life often takes tangents. I might not have written my article for Uncyclopedia yet (a goal I’ve had for about four years now), but I did get to visit New Orleans. Finally!

This year, my goal and resolution, is to learn how to relax. Instead of filling my downtime with activities and hobbies, I want to learn how to do nothing. Absolutely nothing.

It’s going to be a challenge. During yoga when everyone else is breathing and clearing their minds, I’m plotting–or just chatting with my characters. Or wondering if I’ll be able to unfold my legs when it’s time to stand up. When I’m walking, I tend to listen to audio books, or chat to my husband if I’ve dragged him out with me. I can’t use the elliptical machine. I find it boring. That whole going nowhere thing irritates me. And when I do sit (collapse) on the couch, I usually have a handful of electronic gadgets with me. I fold laundry while I watch movies.

So…nothing. I need to figure out how to do nothing.

Does sitting with a cat on my lap count? What about listening to music–while just sitting. Or walking?

Pity I don’t have the funds (or the time) for a week at the beach. I’m really good at doing nothing on the beach. I like to just lie there, soaking up the sun, listening to the waves and the babble of voices. If I try that in the snow, I’ll die of hypothermia. Or get locked away somewhere.

Oh! Okay, getting committed isn’t a good way to pursue nothing, is it.