Discover

One of the first questions a person asks when meeting someone new is, “What do you do?” This question has always made me uncomfortable because the answer has always felt like nothing. I do nothing.

It’s not that I don’t do things; I don’t feel I do worthy things. I am not a doctor, a lawyer, or a social worker. I don’t climb mountains. I have no plans to sail around the world in a canoe. I’ll probably never write a bestseller (like the New York Times kind) or have one of my books optioned for a movie. I will not discover anything new in the field of anything. I probably won’t ever invent a gizmo.

What I do is cook dinner… most nights. I clean bathrooms. I cuddle with cats. I play video games, and I read books. I color pictures. I crochet. When the weather is nice, I garden, walk, and hike. I plan menus and navigate supermarket aisles. I look for sales and compare products for ingredients and price. I balance the budget. I pay the bills. I watch TV. I occasionally go to the movies. I go to New York and Philadelphia and look at things. Buy things.

I volunteer at my local library. I teach writing workshops. I occasionally write words.

No one is interested in those answers, though. They want me to give them a reason to continue the conversation—and if I can’t? They’ll move on to the person next to me. So, to keep things interesting—and, honestly, because it sounds so much better than nothing, or… stuff, or parent, or even stay-at-home parent (I’ve endured those looks, that weird beat of quiet) I say, “I write.”

Writers are interesting and I enjoy talking about writing. It’s always fascinating how little about writing non-writers know. How little about publishing. The whole deal. But the part of being a writer I started to hate years ago… the part that has finally pushed me to give up being a writer, or at least Kelly Jensen – Writer, is the fact that as a label, as an answer to “what do you do?” it feels like a scam. It’s the answer to a question, but it’s not me.

In other parts of the world, where identity is defined by who you are and who you are connected to rather than by what you do and why someone should waste their time on you, my answer would be easier. I could say I am Kelly. I am me. I’m a wife and a mother and a daughter and I love being those things. I write sometimes and it’s fun when I don’t take it too seriously. But mostly, I cook and clean and cuddle and take care of the people I love, and I find worthiness in this because doing it makes me feel good. And because the people I do it for appreciate my hard work, my energy, and my time. I make a difference in their lives.

Because I live in this part of the world, and because, secretly, I’ve always wanted to invent a gizmo (or to have a purpose that is purely my own—not something I fell into or tell people to make myself sound and feel interesting) I have decided to spend this year figuring out my answer. Naming it—this thing that I am. That I do. Embracing it. So when I’m asked, “What do you do?” I can answer, “I do me, which is to say, a little bit of everything, but here’s what I find fascinating right now.”

And that is why my word for 2025 is: discover.

What interests me. What engages me. What makes me excited. What my answer will be.

What makes me me.